Jose Balderas
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NEW YORK — Newly minted ICE agent Jake Barnes was overheard complaining about the agency’s ongoing leniency towards Irish and…
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Arielle Andreano
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WASHINGTON — The Office of the Surgeon General released comprehensive guidance on using two large stuffed crust pizzas as a…
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Jose Balderas
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LA MIRADA, Calif. — Kat Rapier decided to let her husband purchase a Fender Custom Shop guitar he’d been eyeing…
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Trevor Graham
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TEANECK, N.J. — Local man Derek Logan watched the 2005 film “V for Vendetta” to experience the completely fictional story…
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Jennifer Donovan
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JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Local MAGA Republican Richard Goiter released a new conservative version of Mad Libs where all pronouns have…
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Steve Packosky
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STANFORD, Calif. — A psychological study at Stanford University found that 85% of participants would willingly drink kerosene if the…
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Patrick Crooks
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SEDONA, Ariz. — Attendees of an orgy reported that the evening’s highly charged sexual atmosphere was being ruined by a…
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Charles Bill
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WASHINGTON — Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller admitted that he’s just building Aryan Nation credibility for his inevitable imprisonment,…
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Trevor Graham
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CHICAGO — A veteran who fought in World War II still continues to have “Hitler Derangement Syndrome” to this day,…
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Ryan Darrah
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PALO ALTO, Calif. — Tech startup Optium will soon launch an app that aims to disrupt humanity’s concept of a…
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